I came out over 20 years ago and while I was anxious about it, I knew my family would still love me. I was in grade 10? So like 98/99. I knew then that while some folks were still bigoted and there were still kids being kicked out for who they were, things were getting better. As I figured out who I was and found there were so many others like me, I delved into the history and learned about stonewall and anti cross dressing laws and the AIDS crisis and all sorts of things we’ve had to fight and overcome. At that time, I knew that we were safer than we were 10 or 20 years ago. Today I know of more youth that have become homeless because of being queer or trans or both than I ever did in the past. This is alarming. I know that I moved from a larger metropolitan area, to a smaller rural one, but even in Vancouver, where I spend a lot of time in a much larger queer community and where inevitably, we share our coming out stories, I knew where folks were coming from, what they were escaping. Still, here in Southwest Nova Scotia, years later, where I know fewer people in general, I’ve heard way too many terrible stories.
Lately I’ve been scared. I recently learned about a teacher here in an English school that was screamed at and is being threatened because she is standing up and defending gender being in the curriculum and supporting GSAs. Not too much earlier I had heard that the CSAP school board might have been giving instructions to teachers to only instruct kids up to grade 3 abut boys and girls, with no mention of gender diversity in response to threats from some religious radicals. While it’s easy to look at the states and how bad some states are getting, and think oh, this is Canada, we don’t have people like that here, we do and they are emboldened.
I know that some of you are out there, challenging the hate, being visible, creating safe places, sticking your necks out. I see you. Thank you. Please keep doing what you are doing. You may not know the difference you are making in the moment, but you are. You are saving lives.
For those just trying to survive. We got you. Please find us and hopefully feel a little safer, even for a time.
To those that “don’t agree with that lifestyle” or think we are perverts or groomers, I would ask you to look into your hearts and find out for yourself, why do you believe this? What about any of this makes you uncomfortable? Are you able to sit with that for a moment?
For those who believe that queer people not only have a right to exist, but to be known, in the curriculum, to each other, to others, I challenge you to step up. Even in a tiny way. Shut down that bigoted comment, wear that ally pin, voice your support for GSA’s and gender in the school curriculum. The louder you are, the better, but even the slightest action, shows us that you are with us.
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About the author: Mel is non-binary, queer person born and raised in Coast Salish Territories (Tsawwassen) in BC and transplanted to Yarmouth 8 years ago. They live with their two queer kids, wife and husband, 2 cats and a dog and loves playing music in the Yarmouth Community Band, and skating as a founding/board member of Tri-County Roller Derby.
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‘Voice of the Community’ is a new SWNPA initiative designed to platform the diverse voices of our community. Got something on your chest that you’d like to contribute? Our communications team would love to work with you on putting your voice out there. Please get in touch at communications@southwestnovaprideassociation.ca